Kissing Children on the Lips?

Obviously, everyone has the right to raise their children as they wish. It is common to see scenes of parents kissing their small children on the lips. Like any controversial and debatable topic, there are those who defend this type of affectionate exchange between parents and children and those who abhor it. Regardless of the opinion one might have, I am always in favor of reflection and deep analysis. The question here is: In the absence of malice and believing it normal and healthy to show affection for their children, could parents be neglecting the possible future psychological effects of their actions?

For a child, a kiss can be extremely confusing. The child sees the parents kissing on the lips, and then comes the father or mother doing the same with them. This could be enough to confuse a child about role definitions, rules, emotions, and feelings. Another important issue to consider is: If you started kissing your child on the lips when they were very small, when will it stop? Not every child develops and matures at the same time, which makes it difficult to determine a specific age to stop.

Of course, cultural considerations should also be taken into account. The kiss has a different meaning in each culture. Many people base their behaviors and choices on the attitudes of celebrities from other cultures, but our actions should be consistent with our own culture. In some countries like Japan and China, for example, public physical contact is not viewed favorably, making the kiss a symbol of extreme intimacy. In countries like France and Spain, the kiss has almost become a formality in greeting others. We Brazilians are seen by the entire world as a ‘warm’ people who kiss and hug a lot.

It’s important that the meaning of a kiss and the intention behind it are very clear to the child, i.e., what the kiss represents depending on who is kissing. We need to remember that the simpler something is for a child, the easier it is for them to understand and to handle, thus avoiding future conflicts for them. Therefore, we can conclude that it is much easier for a child to understand that a kiss on the lips is an expression of affection only between couples rather than understanding that kissing mom or dad on the lips might be acceptable, but not an aunt or uncle, or that parents can kiss each other on the lips because they are partners, but the child can also kiss them even though they are not the parent’s partner.

Thais Clemente