Filling the Void with Food

Often, society deals with the idea of a slim body as the attractive or sexy body. Thus, people strive hard to fit into this standard of beauty dictated by the influential majority. The desire to lose weight is a complaint of the majority of people, especially women, even those who are not “outside aesthetic standards.” Concern about the body and appearance is becoming increasingly exaggerated, escalating from self-care to a harmful addiction to health.

Shame is another factor that directly interferes with those who establish an unhealthy relationship with food. Often, the person prefers to think that they have no eating disorder, but rather that they are lazy or greedy, preferring to accept that they will always be overweight. This shows how hard these people are on themselves, often using very critical or punitive words to describe themselves. The fact is that it is very difficult for them to admit that they have a problem and need help. Instead, they spend most of their time criticizing themselves, and as a result, they eat more and more.

When people think of eating disorders, they commonly assume it to be anorexia or bulimia. However, the number of people suffering from temporary or permanent binge eating has increased alarmingly. One of the most painful human experiences is the feeling of inner emptiness. A feeling that nothing makes sense, nothing has a reason to be, nothing and no one exists for a purpose. This “inner hole” is often a complaint of men and women who strive to break free from some addiction, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling, or even sugar or food. Most of the time, the person cannot identify when they started feeling this emptiness, but they can see that they have felt this way for many, many years.

The conflicting relationship with food often arises to fill this ‘hole’, this inner emptiness. It is used as a form of comfort, to suppress feelings and emotions that seem to suffocate the person at that moment. It may be that the person is dealing with a huge loss in their life, for example, going through a grieving process, divorce, loss of the ideal job, etc. It may also be that the person is going through a time of immense stress at work, or family problems. Often, this person is going through a moment of tension in their social relationships, leaving them feeling isolated and alone. And it is at this moment that food becomes the best companion, the friend who consoles, supports, and relieves pain.

Food becomes a relief, a remedy for inner pain. Whether in bulimia, anorexia, binge eating, or other eating disorder cases, food is used as a way to deal with emotions and life’s problems. The worrying thing is that most of the time this is an unconscious process, and the person does not realize that they are only causing a much more serious problem for themselves. An eating disorder can be seen as the best friend or the worst enemy of a person. It may be that the person has used food for years as the best companion in times of stress, anger, anxiety, or sadness. Often, unconsciously, the person criticizes and puts themselves down so that they resort to food again as relief. For those who have never suffered from eating disorders, this may not make sense, but for those who live with them daily, this is the only repetition pattern they know. And saying goodbye to such a loyal, trustworthy friend of many years can be scary.

Therapy helps the person develop a “healthy voice.” This means that instead of listening to the voice of the eating disorder ordering them to eat or not eat, which says they have no value or importance, the person begins to hear the healthy voice telling them that they are worth a lot and deserve a lot from life. The therapist helps the person develop new strategies for dealing with their anxiety, stress, anger, and sadness. The person is encouraged to seek recognition of their value as an individual so that there is an emotional gain capable of filling the emptiness previously illusorily filled with food.

Thais Clemente